Now for those of you that don't know Google owns Youtube. They also own Blogger and Gmail. I have all of these things but somehow, don't ask me how, somehow I managed to sign up for Blogger, Gmail and Google itself with one email address and Youtbe with another. Well, not so much with another as with two different email addresses. So I have two accounts. But my main account, the one where I am subscribed to most of my channels, is different from all the others. Google also does automatic sign in. So you sign in to one of your Google apps and you're signed into the rest. Now for anyone that's still following (or vaguely interested!) this meant that when I went on to Youtube I was in the wrong channel, the one that had no subscriptions. No Problem. I signed out and signed into the correct account and spent a lovely couple of hours relaxing and enjoying some videos.
Finally I felt like I could try writing something again. I decided to come back on to Blogger. Only I wasn't signed in to this account anymore. I wasn't signed out either. I was signed into an old account, an old blog no less, I had forgotten even existed. Its the strangest feeling when you find something you'd forgotten about, when you experience words you'd completely forgotten you said. It's the strangest feeling when you look back on things you said and don't even recognise the person that said them. The blog only had two posts and dated all the way back to May 2009. My first foray into blogging. When I think of how much has happened since I started that blog my head spins. And when I think of how little progress I've made...my heart breaks. Especially considering the nature of the Blog. It was meant to track the progress of, what I hoped, was a new phase in my life. It's full of positivity and hope and plans and, whilst I don't remember every detail of who I was or whet I felt when I wrote it, the determination is clearly there.
Below is part of one of only two published posts on the entire blog.
"I've decided that this Blog will be a window into everything good and bad about my life. Once i've sorted through it all I plan on taking the good parts and making something more of them. My goal is to go away. T o see the world...or at least a very small part of it for at least 3 months.
So here goes.
Wish me luck"
I never did it. Granted, I had some issues arise, but still. It seems such a shame, feels like I let that person down. So since I didn't travel the world, did I fail?
The great man
Somebody tweeted a quote by Bruce Lee earlier this evening and I feel like it fits beautifully with this post.
“A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.”
How may of us have started something only to give up and forget all about it? This comforts me, It gives me back my hope and lets me keep trying. The very fact that I didn't recognise either the blog or the post shows how much I've changed. And that's clearly what I was looking for in the post.
Though it never pays to dwell or regret, sometimes it does pay to stop and look back. Think about all the plans you made and goals you set. Think about all the projects you started and never finished. Think about where you thought you'd be right now. Are you there? And if not do you care? Sometimes when the world throws us off track it sets us on a much harder path. This, upon first inspection, seems to suck! Not only do you not know where you're going, getting to this unknown destination is hard!! This is when you need to adjust your aim, you need to shift your focus and push through and just keeping trying. You never know. Maybe, like me, you'll go full circle. You'll end up with a blog that isn't about trying to be positive. It's about spreading positivity.
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